Thoughts On Staying Disciplined On Sabbatical With a Family

I recently participated in a conversation about staying disciplined with your routine while on vacation or sabbatical, and how practical it is to do so when you have kids. Most people take their vacation as a chance to loosen the reigns on their routines and good habits. Add kids into the mix and this seems inevitable and maybe even necessary.

Below is the original excerpt from Sean McCabe about staying disciplined on while on sabbatical. His full article about it can be found here: https://t.co/cFx3VTOY8d

“I treated my first couple dozen sabbatical weeks like lazy vacations. I’d stay up late, sleep in, and just sort of veg out. Sometimes I would do productive things, but mostly I just let the time slip away from me.

The week would go by in a blink and my sabbatical would be over. 

 

In more recent years, I’ve made a point to stick to routine during sabbaticals. In other words, discipline does not stop. 

 

Staying disciplined during the sabbatical does not mean I have no freedom. In fact, the exact opposite is true: I have more freedom than ever. 

 

When I wake up early and maintain my early morning routine, exercise, and writing, I feel good about myself. In the first few hours, I’ve already done so much. Then, I have the rest of the day to do whatever I want! Nothing feels more restful. It’s a fulfilling kind of rest, as opposed to the lazy kind of rest I was practicing before.

 

The lazy sabbaticals where I slacked around did not feel like true rest. They left me feeling unproductive, unfulfilled, and guilty. 

 

When I stay disciplined on sabbatical, the week feels longer. I have more time in a day. I have more time to do nothing if that’s what I want to do! But I maintain a structure that creates this freedom. I can then use the freedom to rest, create, think, or do anything I want. 

 

Discipline doesn’t stop when you’re on sabbatical—and that’s a good thing.”

So we had some back and forth about the degree to which this advice could be applicable to people with children (Sean does not have kids). Knowing I have six children of my own, a friend of mine asked me the following question:

Does that depiction of discipline vs. vegging out on a week long vacation ring true to your life?

My answer is, it kinda depends. The degree of difficulty in staying within normal routines can vary depending on whether you’re taking a sabbatical at home or traveling abroad or anything in between. This is true whether you have kids or not. The most notable difference with kids is that they add a much wider variable into the equation.

A bit of math:

x = 100 (normal routine)
y = var(1*(-1,-5)) (type of sabbatical, staying home, traveling nationally, internationally, etc.)
z = var(1*(-1,-50)) (kids)

*The variables are resistance based on the likelihood that they will interfere with your routine

x – y = (99,95)
x – y – z = (98, 45)

You could add other variables like whether or not you are sick, level of stress leading up to the sabbatical, etc. Also, the equation is oversimplified as many of these variables can have dependencies within the others. Basically, the type of sabbatical adds a level of resistance that can put conditions for staying with your routine anywhere from 95%-99% optimal. With kids, the range could be anywhere from 45%-98% optimal.

**Disclaimer: I’m terrible at math and have no idea what I’m doing, but I hope this is making a point.

Optimal Conditions May Vary

The point is that while the optimal conditions for staying on your routine can vary (and can vary greatly with kids), it’s still possible to take necessary measures to stick with your routine, and I would add that I believe doing so can improve the experience for the whole family. 

I’ve found that, when on vacation or taking a sabbatical, I enjoy my time more when I stay disciplined with things that have become vital to my daily routine. The kids do better with structure, especially when we are in a new environment, and we all have a better time.

Personally, I still wake up early, but maybe not as early. This has more to do with me than it does with my kids. I still exercise. I may eat more meals out but I’m still careful about not overeating to the point of discomfort (again, a personal choice that doesn’t depend on kids). We still keep our kids as close to their normal routine as possible (meals, naps, downtime, bedtime, etc.) and that seems to help them stay more even-tempered.

It’s important to note that we don’t do this perfectly and from time to time we make exceptions, but I think the point of Sean’s original post is not to prescribe 100% adherence regardless of your circumstances, but to begin to think of deviating from your routine as the exception instead of the rule. If you believe that sticking to a routine provides a better experience for you and your family (a theory worth testing out), having a mindset of sticking to your routine as the rule will help you be more creative and resourceful when it comes to dealing with the variables, whatever they may be.