Old Friend and Fond Memories

I recently had a conversation with a friend about something that has been troubling me lately. I love writing, composing and performing music, but it looks so much different these days than it did when I was a younger man. This friend used to play in a band that my wife and I started several years ago. We would play several nights a month, rehearse twice a week, had an active following, and played a fun, well put together show. Now, a few years and a few kids later, our band maybe plays one show every few months, we struggle to find any time to rehearse, our following hears from us intermittently at best and when we do play, we are a bit rusty.

It’s the Kids’ Fault

I’m going to go ahead and blame it on the kids. I say this jokingly because I absolutely love my kids, but here are some of the challenges we face.

First of all, we have five young children and it is difficult to find a regular babysitter. If we were to play out even once a week, with set up, the show, tear down, and travel time to and from the venue, we’d be looking at a hefty childcare bill. Eventually the band might be able to help fit the bill, but not at first. Time is also a huge factor here. There’s a lot of preparation that goes into playing a single show and with the additional time it takes to get the kids set up so they can stay on a schedule while we’re gone, we’d be spending a ton of time for a relatively small payoff. No matter how well the sitter keeps the boys on the same schedule and the same routine, we almost always have to reign them in after a night out. Add in date nights and the whole things becomes even more complicated. Most of all, the kind of time we had become used to investing in the band would take more time away from our kids than we are willing to spend.

Rehearsal looks nothing like it used to. We rarely go more than a few minutes without being interrupted by a minor emergency. Sometimes the kids like to try to play along with their toy instruments which, while extremely cute, makes it difficult to concentrate. Making time to prepare for rehearsal has been difficult. Because we don’t have shows lined up, our rehearsals don’t have much direction, which makes it even easier to get off track.

Excuses and Reality

The above paragraphs are a mix of excuses and real circumstances. I shared these thoughts with my friend and explained how it felt like music, this particular passion, had its time and is now over.

A New Perspective

With a single word, my friend helped me turn my thoughts toward a more positive outlook…

Seasons.

Life is made of seasons that come and go and come around again. I think fondly of the spring-time of my pursuit of music and compare those memories against the autumn in which it seems to be fading now. I even wonder if we are actually in winter for how bare the trees look sometimes. But winter also has its own beauty.

Lifeless Branches of My Musical Tree

I have a Crape Myrtle in my front yard. Every fall it loses its leaves and flowers and becomes completely bare. Even though it looks dead on the outside, life is pulsing in the roots and inside the branches. Life that will burst through in beautiful leaves and blooms late in the spring. Even now, lifeless as it seems, it hosts busy birds that hop and flutter in a beautiful dance around its bare branches.

I am finding new ways to pursue this passion that fit inside the constraints of my circumstances and match the season that I am in. I am making time for the parts that I can sustain. I’m letting go of what it used to look like and taking hold of what it can look like today. I am finding new inspiration in my children and the maddeningly wonderful way they’ve changed our lives. The truth is that though this passion may find itself in a difficult season, it is no less vital that its expression find its way out into the world. The strain your circumstances place on your passion may be the very place from which your work will be most meaningful & inspiring to others.

What It Looks Like Today

Here is what pursuing music looks like for us today: I make time every morning to write lyrics and work out compositions. My wife and I go over new songs and rehearse one night a week. We record what we work on and share it with our drummer so he can work out parts for the times when we can all get together and rehearse. We make time once every other week to video record a new song and share it on our youtube channel. We play live shows less frequently, more locally and have a lighter set-up. This is how we do it for now and next year it may look completely different.

Embrace Your Season

Embrace the season that you’re in. Do not waste your time longing for what something used to look like, but apply your creativity and your energy to what it could look like today. I have been delightfully surprised at how satisfied I feel with the work of pursuing my passion in the season I’m in, and the unique way in which my passion has inspired and encouraged others. I hope that you can find the same satisfaction and joy in your work, whatever season you’re in.