by Ben Toalson | Oct 1, 2014 | In The Boat
Many of the creative people I know are also some of the most hard-working, committed people I know. Creative work in almost any area–art, design, engineering, development, etc.–is usually just the right mix of enjoyable and challenging. Because of this it’s easy, as a creative person, to find one’s self completely wrapped up in the work of making things, even at the expense of our own well being.
In a recent newsletter I asked for feedback about some of the struggles we have as creatives trying to balance our work and family life. A huge thanks to those of you who responded! I’d like to focus today on feedback I received from Claire. To summarize her comments, she said that in the busyness of doing her creative work, raising her daughter, and keeping up with stuff around the house, she finds very little time to replenish her creative inspiration, and when she does, she has trouble doing so without feeling a little guilty.
This is something that I have definitely struggled with and something I believe is very common among my fellow creatives. I wanted to go ahead and share some practical ideas that I hope will help you in shifting your feelings about taking personal time, and re-framing the value it adds to your work.
Find creative replenishment in the things you are already doing.
Sometimes, the last place we look for inspiration and replenishment is what we already do day in and day out. Aren’t these things part of the reason I feel creatively drained? While I agree that the monotony of doing these things every day, whether it’s cleaning the house, caring for kids, administrative work for your freelance business, etc. I also believe there are aspects of these things, when looked at from the right perspective, can be invigorating and life giving.
What I try to do is purposefully shift my focus away from the things that are draining and toward the things that inspire me. For example, with my kids there are obvious drains on my energy. Between our rigorous night-time routine and all of the daily transitions that are necessary to get us from place to place I am just about spent. My kids are incessant makers though. There isn’t a day that goes by that pages of drawings don’t fill our art basket and new melodies aren’t introduced to the keys of our piano.
Just the other day, I brought home a new box fan (we use them for nap-times to create white noise) and my 5 year old stared at it in wonder as I removed it from the box and exclaimed “Wow!” when I turned it on. When I slow down enough to take a moment to really look at these things… I feel that same sense of wonder. My 7 year old is making up a song from a melody that he hears in his head… “Wow!” My 5 year old is doing something kind and helpful without being asked, just because he loves his brother… “Wow!” My 4 year old drew a picture of me and, though it looks nothing like me, it gives me a peek into the way he sees the world around him… “Wow!”
When I allow myself to experience these moments from my kids, the newness of the world is restored to me and my heart and eyes are filled with wonder once again. As a maker of things, we NEED this wonder, we NEED new eyes.
Also, though I hate the work of tidying up and cleaning, having a clean house does wonders for my ability to be creative. It’s like when I remove clutter from my house, I’m also removing clutter from my mind.
By changing my mindset I am able to run what is coming into my life through a better filter that helps me to better receive inspiration from what might otherwise feel monotonous and taxing.
The “oxygen mask” principle
If you’ve ever sat through a flight attendant’s safety presentation before a flight, you probably remember them advising you that in the case of a loss of air pressure, oxygen masks will drop down and you should FIRST put on your own oxygen mask, THEN put on your child’s oxygen mask. The idea is that if you don’t take care of your oxygen supply first, you could possibly black out before you had a chance to properly secure the mask for your child.
I feel like this principle applies in our lives, in that when we are not taking care of our personal needs and consistently placing others’ needs before our own, we run the risk of burning out and not being as available or present for the people in our lives. For a person who cares about their children, this can be very difficult. It seems like self-sacrifice is the right thing to do, but in my personal experience, the more I sacrifice my own needs and the less I take care of myself, the more burned out I feel and the less patience I have with my kids. They can sense when I’m feeling thin, and they respond negatively to it every time.
I’m not saying that one should never be self-sacrificial in situations that are more desperate, but we simply cannot sustain living this way indefinitely. Our family and our work is better served by a version of us that is rejuvenated and inspired. Believe it or not you are a limited resource. If you are not allowing yourself to be replenished, you are in danger of running out.
Added value to your work
Though you may not list it as one of the benefits in your client proposal or talk about it to your audience (though here I feel like I can) taking time for yourself should be factored in to the value of what you produce. When you take time for yourself, you are able to offer a better version of yourself to your work and this plays out in the quality of what you produce. When someone hires a professional, the thing they’re looking for the most is a solution to their problem. Your solution’s value doesn’t have as much to do with the quantity you can produce, or how quickly you can produce it as the effectiveness of your solution at solving the problem. Therefore, when a potential client identifies you as the one whose solution is able to solve their problem, they must take you as you are. If part of where you draw your inspiration is the time you spend with your family, and that factors into the value of your work, then they need you to uphold that value in order for your solution to be effective. If where you replenish yourself is on the couch, binge-watching a tv show on Netflix, and that factors into the value of your work, then you need to continue that practice in order to meet your client’s expectations.
I’m being a little facetious, but the time that you take to gain inspiration, to replenish your creative spark is worth something to your work. It’s worth something to your clients. Your mindset should be that your work is not worth as much when you are not taking time for you. It is not as valuable.
Measure your output
This is the paragraph where I say “don’t just take my word for it.” The goal here is not necessarily to produce more/better work. The goal here is not to justify taking breaks. The goal is to remove unnecessary guilt from the practice of taking personal time as it adds value to your work. Only you can know how effective your efforts are at accomplishing this.
I encourage you to try the following:
Don’t change anything just yet. Keep a daily journal and answer the following questions:
1. How much did I get done today?
2. How do I feel about the quality of my work today?
3. Do I feel burned out or energized?
4. How do I feel about the time I spent with my family/managing my home?
Repeat this activity at the end of the week as an overview for that week.
Repeat it at the end of the month as an overview for the month.
Then, change it up. Start allowing yourself more time for replenishment and inspiration and record it as in the steps above
This will give you a better idea about how you feel about what you are accomplishing, how much you are sacrificing, and how well you are taking care of yourself. Again, the goal here isn’t necessarily to achieve the highest output, quality, etc. It’s to find a balance that doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve neglected a vital area of your life.
In a world where the vital things in life seem to be pulling and stretching us beyond what we are capable of doing, my hope is that you feel permission to be a whole person, to establish boundaries, and to offer the best of yourself without sacrificing any of the things that make you valuable.
I’d love to hear from you…
How do you take time for yourself without feeling guilty? What are some things you do to gather inspiration? What are some unexpected sources of replenishment for you? Feel free to share your answers in the comments below.
by Ben Toalson | Sep 24, 2014 | In The Boat
If you’ve ever tried to visit your favorite restaurant or coffee shop after they close, you’ve probably been met with the disappointment of the “CLOSED” sign. For many businesses it doesn’t make financial sense to stay open 24 hours and because many of us understand this, they don’t feel the need to explain why they are closed. If they’re being really nice, they might put a sign up that says “Closed for [insert holiday]” or “Closed for Lunch” or a “We’ll be back” with a little clock that tells you when you can expect them to be in the office again. While that’s nice, I don’t personally feel like any business owes me an explanation if I happen to visit or try to contact them outside of office hours. That’s just the way it is. Why then do I sometimes feel a need to explain myself or fudge on my hours for clients or contacts who wish to get in touch with me during hours that I should technically be “closed for business”?
I was thinking on this the other day and thought it would be a fun exercise to share with you what my typical evening looks like after I “clock out” for the day at 5, and why no one should expect to be able to get in touch with me or hear from me after that time. So here goes:
5:00pm
Right about this time I have the kids (all 5 of them between the ages of 2-7) clean up their toys while I finish preparing dinner and set the table. I mostly run back and forth between the kitchen and the living room reminding the kids to clean up while making sure I don’t burn any food or break any dinnerware.
5:30pm
We all sit down together to eat. This is a really important value for our family and it has been difficult at times. Kids don’t really like to stay in the same place for very long, but we manage to do some check-in with each of the boys, share things about our days, and even get some good laughs in every once in a while. This time is sacred and is an anchor for our family.
6:00
When dinner is done we immediately put our plates in the sink and do our after dinner chores. In all honesty, regardless of the fact that we’ve done this a bazillion times, the boys almost never put their plates directly in the sink and getting them to do their chores is a struggle almost every night. But, most of the time, they do them anyway and we get through it and we leave the kitchen each night tidy and clean as we found it.
6:30pm
Every night that we’re not doing something else we have what’s called “Family time.” We use family time for a variety of activities including board games, puzzles, arts & crafts, living room dance party, playing outside or going for nature walks. This is a time for us to connect as a family over a fun activity and build memories.
7:00pm
Bath time. We split the boys up between two tubs and give them a quick wash. The older three are now old enough to bathe themselves (thank goodness), so this gives Rachel and I a little more freedom to get their bedtime stuff prepared.
7:30pm
Story time. We place a high value on books and reading, so we dedicate a chunk of our evening to story time every night. We start by reading a couple of shorter children’s books, then read a chapter out of a chapter book, then we have everyone sit for about 10 minutes and read (or flip pages and look at pictures) “silently” on their own. We’re still working on the “silently” part.
8:00pm
Prayer and breathing. We give each of the boys an opportunity to say a prayer, then we take 10 deep breaths. We have found that the practices of expressing gratitude through prayer and intentional breathing recalibrate our attitudes and help us to be more mindful for the following day.
8:10pm
Snuggle time. We’ve only recently gotten into this practice where Rachel and I take about 5 minutes of one-on-one time with each of boys. It’s rare that we get to have that consistently during the day, so this time is meant to maintain and strengthen the unique relationships we have with each of the boys.
8:30pm
With the boys in their beds and drifting off to sleep (read as “knocking on our door or calling our names for the next 15 minutes”), Rachel and I do a few end of day things to get ready for the next day, then we can spend about an hour relaxing, reading books, hanging out, watching a tv show, etc.
9:30pm
Time to go to sleep, because I’m going to be getting up at 5am the next day and I don’t do my best work without enough sleep.
***Note***
Can I just say for the people out there who actually prescribe sacrificing sleep in order to get more things done, STOP. Seriously. Lack of sleep is keeping you from experiencing your full potential, it’s diminishing your self-discipline, it’s hampering your creativity, it’s causing you to not be fully present with the people you love, it’s raising your stress levels and slowly killing you. This is not how you do your best work. If you have young children and don’t get enough sleep because of their sleeping/feeding schedules, that’s one thing, I’ve been there. But don’t choose it for yourself. Get enough sleep!
Sorry for the rant, I just had to put that out there. As you can see, my schedule is pretty full after 5pm. Could I make exceptions and be available sometime during those hours? Yea. Could we stop doing some of these family routines to open up a little more time? Yea. But these are my values. I value my family. I also happen to believe that the fulfillment I gain from the time I spend with and the things I do for my family enrich my work and creativity. It factors into the quality that you get when you hire Ben Toalson to make something for you. Here’s the attitude I would like you to have… If you want to work with me, you do it at a time that doesn’t cause me to compromise on my values. You’re paying for the version of me that is only capable of offering the kind of value I do BECAUSE of my family values. It’s part of the package.
I hope this helps you wherever you are. Whether you have kids or not, you have values and boundaries that are worth protecting. You certainly don’t have to outline for your clients why you can’t be available during specific hours, but it is good for them to understand that it’s because of your values, your boundaries, your processes, that you’re capable of providing the kind of quality they are looking for.
by Ben Toalson | Sep 17, 2014 | In The Boat, Uncategorized
Some of you know that I co-host a bi-weekly podcast with Sean McCabe, and you may also know that he is one of my mentors. I’ve learned a great deal from him about creativity and business, not only from the things he and I talk about, but also from his example. I’m inspired by the things he is making and aspire to have the same level of quality and production, and yet, it would be foolish of me to try doing some of the things he is doing right now.
10 Steps Ahead
Sean puts a lot of work into the podcast and, in addition to that, he also posts videos, blogs, is developing features in his community, is writing a book, sending out newsletters and the list goes on. If I’m not looking at it from the right angle, I can look at all of the things Sean is doing and feel like it’s necessary to “keep up” with him. The problem is, I’m simply not in the same place right now. There were many steps that Sean took to get where he is today, and I am just not that far down the road. The things he was doing 5 steps ago are still (at least) 10 steps ahead of where I am, and that’s okay.
Know Where You Are
Knowing where you are is a powerful thing. Not in a way that is falsely humble or self deprecating, but in a way that places you objectively in the reality of the position you are currently in, so you know what you’ve got to work with and what steps you should take next. It’s certainly okay to have aspirations, and to have someone to look up to, but if we try to base our activity on a vision that we have of a distant future and not on the reality of where we are today in our path to get there, we will not be able to gain the traction we need to move forward.
Building a House Is Hard
Imagine you are building a house from scratch. You are the one who has to unload the lumber, lay the foundation, set up the frame… everything. Across the street, one of your neighbors has already finished building his house. Each morning you get up early and begin your work. After a few hours of hard labor, already tired and sweaty, your neighbor appears at his front door looking fresh and well-rested. He waves hello, hops into his car and drives off to enjoy his day. You think with envy about the nicely finished house and how carefree your neighbor seems to be. You feel like it shouldn’t be this much work… after all, your neighbor doesn’t look very stressed out. Maybe he figured out a way to do it that doesn’t require as much work and effort as you’re doing now. Maybe you don’t need to look at the blueprints, but you can just look at the outside of your neighbor’s house and try to make it look like that.
Obviously a professional builder would never skip the blueprints and construct a building based only on what they could see on the outside. The problem is, unless our neighbor gives us a tour of the house and tells us in detail all of the steps he took to build it, we have a grossly incomplete picture of what it takes to build our own house by just looking at the outside. Even with the tour and the details, we still lack a lot of the context necessary for us to base our actions on our limited perspective on what someone else has accomplished. We can’t look at someone who is that far down the road from us and make accurate assumptions about what they did or didn’t do to get there.
Bursting At the Seams
A personal example of this idea that I’m currently dealing with is my desire to do a podcast and video blog for In the Boat With Ben. Sometimes I feel like I’m bursting at the seams to start communicating in those mediums. It doesn’t help that I actually participate with Sean in a podcast twice a week, and as a part of his community, get to experience the videos that he puts out. The more I see of that the more easily I can lie to myself and say, “Sean can do it, why can’t I?” I keep having to fight the urge because the truth is that if I did start adding even one of those things, I would not be able to maintain the quality and output frequency that I believe would make it worthwhile. It’s better not to launch something at all then to launch something that is going to give someone a negative experience with your brand.
For this reason I want to encourage you to shift your focus towards where you are today. The more real you are about the circumstances you are currently dealing with, the easier it will be to identify the steps you can take to move forward. Not only is this a great benefit to you, but if you are sharing or communicating your journey with others, you are able to offer more value to those who are a few steps behind you by talking about the real stuff you’re experiencing now.
Ask yourself: What am I really capable of doing today and can I do that well? What are the real problems I am dealing with today and what are some practical solutions? What are the tasks I need to complete to make it, not to the next 10 steps, but to the next 2 steps?
It’s okay to look ahead every once in a while and dream about the future. It’s funny though, how the future that inspires us to move forward is often not the one that actually unfolds for us. Hold your dreams loosely. Don’t let them mesmerize you into a stand-still, but let them fuel your ability to put your head down and focus on where you are now so that you can keep move forward.
by Ben Toalson | Sep 8, 2014 | In The Boat, Uncategorized
It Feels Personal
As I write this I am in the process of finding a job that will cover my expenses so that I can spend some of my free time discovering and building my passion without putting it under unnecessary financial pressure. So I’m doing what most people do when looking for a job. Submitting applications and resumes. This has been a particularly challenging experience in that I have found it difficult to separate my personal feelings from the process. It feels like a personal thing. A job means money which means food on the table and shelter overhead for my family. These things are kinda a big deal to me, which is why it’s difficult when I sense a hint of rejection or dismissal. It’s not just a dismissal of me, but of what I want to be able to provide for the people I care about.
At the Mercy of Others
A similar thing happens with potential clients. I don’t want to discount my services, so I quote the full value of a project. Whether the client doesn’t have that kind of budget, or doesn’t agree with the value, any question or delay that comes into this process could potentially create a gap in my ability to provide for my family. When we find ourselves in situations like this it is easy to feel like we have no control over the situation, like we are just along for the ride and are at the mercy of the thoughts and decisions of others.
Frozen and Powerless
When I feel like I’m not in control, I tend to freeze a little. I’m waiting to hear something back about a job and everything else in my life is suspended, like I’m holding my breath. At worst, imagine someone sitting in a chair in their house, just holding and staring at their phone, checking it incessantly, refreshing their email app every few minutes. I’m not quite there yet. This is a posture of powerlessness. When we take on this posture it affects everything else we do. What I have chosen to do, and what I would like to encourage you to choose, whether looking for a job or dealing with potential clients, is to take on a posture of power.
What is the posture of power?
The posture of power is not forceful. When we make demands, raise our voices, complain or whine, or are inconsiderate in the way that we try to get the attention of the other party, we are giving up the posture of power. We are most likely acting out of our emotion and demonstrating that the other party has power over our emotions.
The person in the posture of power does not act on assumption. We all enter into new relationships having had experiences with other people. Some of these experiences have been negative and some positive. It’s quite natural to make assumptions based on your previous experiences in other relationships triggered by the way the other party is or isn’t responding, how they are behaving or communicating. The danger in acting upon these assumptions is simply that you do not have all of the facts. Maybe you feel, based on past experience, that the other party is showing a great deal of interest when in reality they are considering you as a second or third option for their open position. Maybe it seems like they are not interested at all and somewhat aloof, when in reality they are very interested in you, but are going through a huge transition and are having to scramble and temporarily work outside of their expertise. In either case you cannot act on what you do not know.
The person in the posture of power isn’t afraid of missing an opportunity. This is the one that gets me the most. If the other party is taking a long time to respond or work out their end of the deal, and waiting on them could potentially keep you from taking other work or opportunities, it is absolutely okay to move on or reset the time table. In fact, I believe it’s necessary. If you will not move on until you’ve heard something definitive, not only is there possibly a misunderstanding of the value of your time on the part of the other party, which sets a bad precedent in a new relationship, but you are also communicating that you do not value your own time. If this means that by the time they’ve circled around with an offer, you’ve already moved on to something else, that’s okay. If they don’t understand that then they are likely not someone you want to work with in the first place. If they do understand that they will likely be willing to wait for you or to change something on their end to make it worth your while.
The person in the posture of power knows what they can and cannot do. Sometimes we try to make ourselves look better by “fudging the numbers” a little bit on what we are not quite capable of doing, especially if a job prospect calls for a specific skill. What is okay to do, is to be honest about what you can’t yet do, but to frame it as something you are willing to and capable of learning, by demonstrating proficiency in similar skills. Even mastery in something that seems unrelated can work in your favor in that it can show that you have the drive, intelligence, and creativity to grow and excel in any given field.
The person in the posture of power knows what they will and will not do. Willingness can go a long way, but where the demands of a position come into conflict with our values, we must be willing to challenge those demands, even if it means passing on the opportunity. For this reason I strongly recommend writing out your values as they relate to a job or project. Imagine the possible scenarios where these values might be challenged. Write down your ideal situation.
The person in the posture of power can communicate genuine interest without worrying about coming across as desperate. It is absolutely okay to make it clear that you are interested in working with the other party, and that you feel like you would be a good fit. Genuineness and sincerity aren’t easy to fake, and when the other party senses those qualities, even if you are not their first choice, it leaves a positive impression that could lead to other opportunities down the road.
It’s a Dance
I am trying to change my mindset from thinking of this process as a game, where there are winners and losers, to thinking of it as a dance where we get to choose our “partner” and our “partner” gets to choose us. There are steps, there is a flow, it’s not personal but it is, in a way, intimate. I believe this shift in mindset and assuming the posture of power are necessary, not only in keeping us from having a negative experience with interviews and client proposals, but also to free us from the mental and emotional blocks that keep us from making things and moving forward.
by Ben Toalson | Sep 3, 2014 | In The Boat
If you’ve been following this blog or receiving my newsletter, you probably know that I’ve been wrestling with some questions lately. Though I have been working as a freelance designer for a while and have had some success with it, I realized that I cannot continue doing things the way I have been and experience the kind of professional designer/client relationship that I believe is necessary for doing my best work. In fact, I had trouble nailing down what it is specifically I would really like to do.
My overarching passion is to help people to believe in what they are worth and to share their unique voice with the world. In my current circumstances it makes the most sense for me to do that from the context of raising a family because I am right there in the middle of that specific struggle. Whatever I choose to do occupationally must serve this overarching passion. The pressure of trying to make a living out of my speculation, and even the process of discovering/deciding what specifically I want to do in my current circumstances, puts me in danger of burning out and potentially giving up.
Today, I feel far from giving up, but I am facing some realities that I must address if I want to make meaningful progress toward building my passion. For this reason, after a great deal of thought, I’ve decided to shake things up a bit and take a new approach. I wanted to take an opportunity here to share some of my decisions with you, and invite you again to come along with me on this journey.
I’m going to list several aspects of my brand and communications that I’ve taken into consideration with my recent decisions. I wanted to point out first some of the changes that I’ve decided to make to my NEWSLETTER and BLOG as they affect you all the most directly:
NEWSLETTER
I’ve been sending out a newsletter once every other week and have decided to make it once every week instead. For any form of communication, once per week should be the minimum frequency in order to have effective, meaningful contact with your audience. Rather than share a brief overview of what I’m working on each week, I plan on making the newsletter a place where I share the story of where I’m going and the practical/valuable lessons I’m learning along the way in the context of raising my family. I’m calling it “In the Boat With Ben.” These full articles will also be in blog format on my website, and because I want to provide exclusive value for those of you who have signed up for my newsletter, I will also be sharing exclusive content from time to time, more behind the scenes looks into the things I’m building and early announcements for new things I’m offering.
BLOG
The blog will pretty much stay the same as it is today (In the Boat With Ben), but I will continue to sharpen my focus on the journey that I’m taking toward building my passions and how this plays out in the context of family.
DAY JOB
It’s time for me to get a day job. Not only is it time, but this is really the most important thing for me to focus on right now because the financial well being of my family depends on it. For some, the idea of getting a day job feels like giving up, but I’m choosing to look at it as an opportunity to build a solid foundation from which I can discover/decide what I’d really like to do occupationally and build my passion. I’m also not looking for a quick fix here. I know that this day job could potentially be my foundation for a while, so while it doesn’t necessarily have to be something I absolutely love doing, it’s got to be something that is sustainable for the foreseeable future. I’ve got to think in terms of years, not months. If it ends up being something I love, that’s a bonus, but even if it’s not, I’m willing to do it because I believe that my passion and the value it will bring to the world is worth it.
Currently I am entertaining some offers to lead the music for some churches, possibly taking on monthly design contracts with multiple business/organization, and asking friends if they know of anyone hiring who could use my skills. I plan to keep you all informed of the process and the things I learn along the way.
ART/DESIGN PROJECTS
I have a few projects that I plan to complete, but I’m actually putting one on hold that I’ve been working on for several weeks. This was a very difficult decision, because I’m really enjoying this project. My HD wallpaper series, that I’m about 11 weeks into (out of the 30 I originally committed to) was taking about 5-7 hours per week, so I am going to have to place that on hold indefinitely so that I can devote that time to building my foundation. I’m also suspending my self-initiated logo designs for now.
PODCASTS
I will continue being a part of the seanwes podcast, but am putting my plans for launching the “In the Boat With Ben Podcast” on hold for now. Rachel, my wife and co-host, are still recording episodes so that when it does launch in the future, we will already have a strong archive of content.
CLIENT WORK
I am still taking on client work. This year I’ve had a wide variety of projects, including a website, logo design, commissioned art piece, flier designs, and am currently in the process of producing an audio-book. The difference is, I’m not bending on my values. If a potential client comes along and is not willing to work within my process or pay the full value of a project, it’s not worth the time that project will take away from building my foundation.
It’s been a huge honor for me to be able to share my journey with you so far. I hope my story is encouraging and inspiring, or at the very least, poses some questions for you to consider in your own journey. I look forward to this next leg of the journey and am excited to share it with you. I’d love to hear any questions or comments you have. Feel free to share a comment here or contact me directly.
Peace,
Ben
by Ben Toalson | Aug 11, 2014 | In The Boat
The Wrong Problem
I’m a big fan of the whole “make a living doing what you love” thing. The problem is that I “love” many things and I “love” the IDEA of many more things. I’ve been trying so hard to solve the problem of finding out what I want to do that I’ve been overlooking the first problem I should be trying to solve. That problem, in a nutshell, is that I am not making enough money right now to build my passion consistently. It’s a little more complicated than that though, and I’ll describe it here:
A Struggling Freelancer
I’m having a difficult time making a consistent income doing freelance work because:
1. I haven’t specialized. I offer a variety of services and because of this I don’t give the impression to potential clients that I am an expert in or known for a specific thing they may be looking for. It’s difficult for me to build a strong portfolio around a specific type of work because from month to month I’m doing something completely different. For example, in April I had a commissioned hand lettering piece, in May I took on a logo design project, in June I took on a website design and today, I’m looking into possibly doing an audio book recording.
2. I am not adhering to a process. Fortunately, I have a process in place for taking on new clients, including several points where I can determine whether or not the client is actually a good fit. Unfortunately, I don’t always follow my own process. This can look like anything from taking on a client before they have completed content, to giving an unreasonable discount for the value I provide. When I or my client does not adhere to the process, everyone loses. I may still do a great job, the client may still be happy with what I make for them, but the perception of value and the passion always suffer.
3. I am a little desperate. This is the biggest problem by far. I have 5 young boys and bills that just keep coming. It’s difficult (seemingly impossible) for me to separate my financial needs from potential jobs, and as a result I’ve gotten into this “take whatever job you can get” mindset. This is probably at the root of the above two problems. If I wasn’t worried about the money I could afford to be more selective about the types of jobs I took rather than taking whatever happened to fall into my lap that month. I would also be more strict about adhering to the process, even if it meant potentially losing clients.
Simple Answers?
The answers to these problems are fairly simple: specialize, stick to the process and don’t be desperate. But that’s not very simple at all because it all comes back to the same question. How am I going to pay my bills?
A Dangerous Cycle
This is what I mean when I talk about trying to solve the wrong problem. When you are trying to make money from something or many things that you love before you’ve specialized, before you’ve built a strong portfolio, before you’ve established a solid process, before you’ve created demand for your services, you place yourself into a dangerous cycle of working on projects that you don’t love, for clients who don’t understand your value, while still barely, if at all, covering your costs.
Maybe this is just my experience, but I’d wager a guess that there are a good many out there who, to some degree, experience similar problems. The solution, the part that I’m working on now, is to find income from a source outside of your passion.
Setting Your Passion Free
How freeing would it be if you could devote some of your free time to discovering or experimenting with your passion, knowing that your livelihood didn’t depend on it’s financial success? How awesome would it be for you to be able to offer high quality pro-bono work for deserving clients who truly recognize your value and could refer you to their friends and colleagues? How great would it be to have the ability to say “no” to a potential client that wasn’t going to be a good fit for you anyway and not worry about the financial repercussions?
I believe it’s possible and that’s the experience I am looking for. The only way I’m going to find that experience is by protecting my journey to it with a source of income that doesn’t depend on my passion.
Get a Job
One of the sources that I’m going to talk about mostly today is a job that doesn’t put a strain on my passion. Here is what I’m looking for:
1. Something that pays the bills. It’s not worth having a job that takes time away from exploring your passion if it’s not at least meeting your basic financial needs.
2. Something that you don’t absolutely hate. It’s gotta be something that doesn’t drain you so much that you have no more energy to give to your passion. Sometimes the drain isn’t just the work itself… it can also be the people or the environment. That’s why it’s really important to ask questions up front about what you’re getting into. Talk to other employees. If an employer doesn’t want you to talk to their employees, maybe they’ve got something to hide.
3. Something that gives you enough free time to focus on your passion AND spend time with your family. There’s no getting around it. If you’re trying to protect your passion with a job, discover and build something on the side, and have meaningful quality time with your family, you’re going to have to sacrifice some things. It may be video games, or poker night, or netflix… that’s up to you. It’s not worth having a job to take care of your expenses if you’re not left with enough time to explore your passions and have time with the people you love.
This is not a simple thing. In the above three criteria, you’re asking for a lot. In fact, your first step might be getting any job in the first place, so you can take your time getting a job that meets the above 3 criteria before you can start exploring your passion. The job also doesn’t necessarily have to be a temporary thing. You may find a job you love enough that still leaves you room to explore your side passions that they can co-exist. I can see this being true especially for service related jobs (non-profit, church, environmental, etc.)
Your Passion is Worth It!
Other sources can be savings, investment income, or simply selling everything you own. Different income sources come with different levels of risk and deadlines. For my circumstances and risk tolerance, getting a job makes the most sense. You have to answer that question for yourself. Bottom line, don’t put the thing you love under the financial strain of meeting your costs before it is capable of doing that for you. Don’t let financial need become an oppressive cage for your creative passion. Instead, give yourself the time and financial margin to discover your passion, give your passion time to grow. A passion, allowed to mature and thrive, is capable of bringing more value to your life than you can imagine.