The Wonder AND the Work

A Musical Heritage

I come from a musical family. Both my mom and dad, and many of my uncles play and sing. My brother and I both inherited the itch to play and write and sing. One day, when I was a kid, my mom brought me over to the stereo, put in a cassette tape, and showed me some songs that she and her brothers had recorded when they were younger. I remember thinking how cool it was to hear my mom’s voice coming through the speakers and how good the music was. I asked her, “Mom, why didn’t you guys ever tour or become famous?” I don’t remember her answer, but it was something to the effect of, ‘we weren’t in the right circumstances’ or ‘we never really had the momentum to do that.’

The Musical Missionary Family

As I understand the story, my Grandfather was a missionary and traveled from church to church. As a part of his ministry, my mom and uncles would play a song they’d prepared. Over time they had written a handful of songs and had gotten pretty good at playing them together. One day they happen to have found themselves living in the same town as a family friend who owned a studio. He invited them to come to his studio and record some of their songs.

The Rest of the Story

This story has the makings of a rags to riches tale (wow, seriously I might want to write a book) about how a poor missionary family caught a break, got a song on the radio that became an instant hit, began touring and eventually got to share the stage with the Beatles. How romantic!

Out of my need to fill the holes in this story with something, I turned to the romanticized stories of those ordinary people who caught a big break and realized their dream. I fell in love with the idea of “getting discovered” and instant success.

The Comfortable Shelter of my Own Illusion

Along the way, no one really told me otherwise. Or if they did, I couldn’t hear it against the noise of my own illusion. I remember entering my band into contests and showcases, hoping for a chance to share the stage with a big name and slip them a demo so that they might listen to it and say, ‘this is the next big thing’ and strap us to a rocket headed for success. Looking back I realize that I fell in love with the wrong thing. A thing that doesn’t really exist.

I have always loved the “work” of music, but somewhere along the way my affection shifted from the work of it to a false idea of success. Though I’m happy with my accomplishments, I realize today that I robbed myself of some of the joy that I could have experienced in the work and of the things I might have been able to create had I fixed my eyes on the heart of my passion.

All of This is to Say…

Today I am a father and still a dreamer. I don’t imagine I will ever stop chasing my dreams. I’ve wrestled with the fear that I might chase my dreams at the expense of time or resources for my children, but have come to the conclusion that my children need to see me chasing and living out my dreams as a very close second to feeding, sheltering and protecting them. If my kids are going to have a shot at discovering and chasing their own dreams, they need to see the people they look up to most in this world following their passions. They need to see the wonder in our eyes as we realize and live out our dreams. But it has to go deeper than that. They need to see that sometimes it’s hard and uncomfortable. They need to see that it takes real work, commitment, and sacrifice.

The Wonder AND the Work

In a world where Hollywood does such a great job of romanticizing the wonder of chasing one’s dreams, where people love rags to riches stories and exalt false ideas of success and achievement, it’s hard for a young person to develop a healthy relationship to their dreams. My hope is that I will be able to exemplify for my kids the wonder AND the work of being a dream chaser, and that it is often right there in the middle of the work that you can discover the greatest wonder.